Bad Copy

So I’m currently sitting in a van, on some highway, on tour, and saw the deadline for these lists was today….(Dec 26th) so of course, I whip out my phone and start writing some bullshit about the Horror Squad album that isn’t out yet despite my better judgement. I am carsick… like really carsick. So I am thinking about throwing up and realize that I throw up a lot in a year. I have a weak stomach. A bowl of lettuce from Taco Bell does me in and I’m out for the rest of the day. Mind you, most of these incidents are on tour. So with out further delay, here are the Top 10 spots I’ve thrown up this year!

10. Right now, after eating fast food

I said I was carsick and writing this, so no explanation needed. Which leads me into the number 9 spot…

9. In the van

I’m pretty good at getting carsick and making bad food choices on the road, so I have thrown up in bags in the backseat of vans. I’m stealthy enough that my bandmates don’t really notice until I complain about it later. Also, I don’t really yack up that much when I do. Just a quick “bleargh” and I’m done.

8. My own bathroom

I was puking a bunch and dropped my phone into the toilet mid conversation. Whoops.

7. Riot Fest

I had Malort for the first time. I didn’t like it. This probably doesn’t count because it was just a gag, a sputter, and a spit into the toilet later, but whatever.

6. The bathroom at the Uptown at This Is My Fest 

I definitely drank too much that day and was really not feeling good. Great show, great time, but I lost my debit card that night and barfed pretty hardcore.

5. Reno, NV 

My partner lived in Reno, so I had been known to drive up there to visit. The last time I was up there however was during the ISW tour. We stayed at Ground Zero (a venue that is no more) and I made good use of the toilet after being talked into shotgunning a beer.

4. Gas Station Parking Lots 

Oh my least favorite pukes! I get about two in every tour after eating gas station sandwiches or fast food. Usually, I barf around the corner of the spot or behind the van. Lovely.

3.  After Hammerbombs shows, specifically that one at the DNA Lounge 

Yeap…mistakes, mistakes, mistakes.

2.  At Tiami and Gabe’s wedding 

Again, somehow I got talked into shotgunning a beer. I blame Jimmy Gomez. (Editor’s Note: #fuckjimmygomez)

1. Jimmy’s House (actually Gabe and Tiami’s house… we call it Jimmy’s house though)

The number of times I have puked in your toilet is unknown. I am sorry. I love you guys.

And that concludes my list. Happy New Year, everyone!