This Is Heaven, This Is Hell

What can I say about Black Sabbath that hasn't already been said? A WHOLE LOT So, here we go...

Establishing the Garfield Canon

The enormity and power of the cultural institution that is the Garfield canon cannot be understated.

Fuck Cops, Build Contact Mics

Every single object in the entire world makes sound if you whack it hard enough.

Metaphorical Tools and How to Use Them, pt. 2: The Best of Jokes from 2019

Since this show came out last year it no longer matters and is dead to me and the rest of the world. I spit on it’s grave and will never speak of it again. Except for all of the times that I do.

Metaphorical Tools and How to Use Them, pt. 1: The Best of Noise from 2019

It was the easiest way for me to start this post while simultaneously flexing the fact that I have read a book.

Shitposting in the Time of Corona

Sad But True

Metallica has hurt me...

An Introduction to Awful Sounds and Shitty Jokes, or Why I Love The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance

Say It Ain’t So

Uh oh... IT'S COWBOY HAT HIP HOPPIN' WEEZER

Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich

I LIKE SANDWICHES TOO

“English Butter Melon”

Some people like bad movies. I like bad drinks.

Introducing the Bad Copy Running Club

I owe it to myself and the people I love to be a little bit better than I was yesterday, and so do you.

The Offspring – Days Go By

Go home Dad, you’re drunk.

Blink-182 – Neighborhoods

To me they were a cookie cutter pop punk band that got a shot at the brass cock ring.

On Grieving

Presence

Ground Control to Major Tom Delonge – Chapter 7: Homecoming

“I can’t live, I can’t breathe...”

Thoughts on What Dogs Are Thinking

Do you have dogs on the brain? Good news, it's probably true the other way around, too!

Heartache, Hospitals, Hangovers, & Happiness

In that order

Ground Control to Major Tom Delonge – Chapter 6: Blue Man Regroup

“Whoa... who are the blue dudes?”

Re-Up the Pets!

Y'all wanna talk doggos?

Ground Control to Major Tom Delonge – Chapter 5.2: First Contact

"We made it dude! Aliens DO exist!"

On the Road with Giant Peach: Chapter 3

"It’s inevitable to have bad moods, but the key is letting them go as quickly as you can."

Ground Control to Major Tom Delonge – Chapter 5: First Contact

"THIS IS BIGGER THAN YOU AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO DIE FOR IT!