Sandwich: The Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich (You know the one)
Location: Popeye’s off Irving Park in Chicago/my boss’s brand new 2019 Chevy Colorado work truck
Ambiance: Look above. I ate this fucker in my boss’ new work truck. I mean brand new, not even 1,000 miles on it. And I immediately spilled the soda everywhere. I’d feel bad, but it’s a work truck and they make me slog my ass through the cold for 50 hours a week for as little as they are willing to pay me, so they can deal with the fucking stickiness. This is my way of sticking it to the man. It should be noted I spilled the soda while I pulled over to the side of the road to take a picture of the sandwich for this entry, all while some dipshit was watching me be a dipshit.
Food: I didn’t expect much. Honestly, when people freak out over things like they freaked out over this chicken sandwich, the fucking thing is usually a huge let down because we as a hive mind people in the internet age are real fucking dumb. Please see that Rick and Morty McDonald’s Szechuan sauce fiasco. Look at the craze for this particular sandwich. People getting in fights. People attempting to break in to Popeye’s because they thought they were holding out on them. I think I read someone got stabbed to death. That’s fucking ridiculous! Over a limited supply chicken sandwich.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ACTUAL SANDWICH? I opened the wrapper and was greeted by an extremely basic looking item. Bun, pickles, mayonnaise, and an admittedly pretty thick piece of chicken. Expectations were low. I took a bite and HOLY SHIT. This basic bitch sandwich was tasty. The few ingredients took nothing away from the juicy and well breaded/seasoned chicken. It all came together in a perfect harmony of quote unquote Louisiana flavor. The hype is real. The only negative was maybe the chicken was too thick. On one of my bites, a sizable chunk of chicken fell out the back and tumbled to the carpet below. Yes, I ate it still. The car is brand new that floor is mostly clean. I spilled two out of three items so far, and I went for the trifecta as I was speeding down Wolcott shoveling mashed potatoes in my mouth. I’m happy to report I succeeded in my mission.
Fuck racist, homophobic, hateful chicken. Eat this instead, idiot.