Bad Copy

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SIDE A

My first plan for the Diff’rent Strokes video was to recreate the original intro using my own car and my own kids, but somehow it didn’t feel right.

EXT. QUIET NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY

A Ford Econoline van with the windows blocked out, driven by an adult man,
rolls up to a basketball court.  He invites two children to enter the van.

Text scroll of "and Charlotte Rae"

I can’t put my finger on it but something about it seems questionable.

So instead I went with the infinitely more friendly Brady Bunch format, where the only bars I’ll find myself behind are the ones separating the nine of me.

Download audio here

SIDE B

Long before the Naked Cult of HICKEY became an international threat to the honky death culture those same young men were a fledgling Floridian Rock band calling themselves Fuckboyz. They sometimes went by F-boys depending on the situation – for example, for their first two shows: a McGruff the Crime Dog block party and a post-Special Olympics dance, respectively. I urge you to fall asleep tonight trying to imagine the band who sang the song “Sodomy Laws (Were Meant to be Broken)” entertaining those audiences.

Events occurring in the years between the rise of F-boyz (mid-80s) and the demise HICKEY (mid-90s) are poorly documented but categorically legendary. Things caught fire, foreign borders were crossed in the dead of night, counts of domestic terrorism levied, enemies were made, allies were radicalized, burritos were consumed and their makers mused over, illegitimate concert halls were sold out, trumpets were commandeered, Dodge’s were gotten the hell out of, felonies were committed, arrests were made, and heck, people even died. Their history is what other bands talk about when they share war stories. Yet somewhere in the middle of it all these freaks also wrote some of my favorite music of all time. Judging by all the worshipers still bobbing in their wake I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that.

F-Boyz released a number of 7″ records with songs about Danzig, drugs, doctors, driving, dieties, and sodomy laws. In short, they covered the whole of the human experience, and sometimes added a guitar solo for good measure. The song below, “Stickfish,” seems to be their veiled attempt at answering the question What would happen if Mike Muir’s mom did get him that Pepsi? Possibly, he wouldn’t be contemplating suicide any more, much like our protagonist in “Stickfish” after his mom delivers his fish sticks, with tartar sauce, just the way he likes them. **

For a Punk band, early F-boys records felt like surprisingly big rock productions with reverbs and noise gates and doubled vocals and all that 80s stuff, but for my recording I went with the HICKEY/Matty Luv-at-a-4th-of-July-BBQ aesthetic and recorded on the 4-track with an acoustic guitar. As always, I hope you enjoy my tribute but I encourage you to check out the far-superior original.

Download audio here

** I’m notoriously bad at interpreting lyrics so this song may have just been about the movie Splash for all I know.